How long have you been here?

I couldn't guess how many times I've been asked this question in the last 20 months. Ban o day bau lau roi? I bet I get asked this question at least twice a day. About 60% of the time this question is followed up by con ban se o day bau lau nua? and how much longer will you be here? I kind of makes it impossible for the time to sneak up on me. It true that this year has flown by, but I can't very honestly say that I can't believe that I've only got a month left or wonder where the time went, because I have to reflect on exactly how much longer I've got over here on a daily basis. Right now I'm about 50% excited to be heading back to the States and start the long-ass process of going to medical school, about 50% depressed about leaving behind so many great things (Just today for example, I went out to the countryside and helped make banh canh--a kind of thick rice noodle soup made with coconut milk--from scratch on a wood stove, I had a beer with a farmer who invited me to come back sometime and go fishing, got caught in a monsoonal rainstorm on the way back to Can Tho and rode my motorbike through to storm wearing a massive poncho to keep me. . .sort of dry, went to a software store and realized that it was owned by a friend of mine who I play basketball with at the University, stayed and chatted for a few minutes and on the way home for the computer software store ran into two people I know on the street, went to the internet and found out that I have successfully gotten some funding for the orphanage I've been working with), and about 32% depressed that I haven't been able to accomplish more while I've been over here. I've still got a ton of stuff to do before I go, but I've been spending the last week spinning my wheels and not effectively getting anything done.

The real reason that I'm writing this blog. ..I only blog when there's something that I need to get off my chest . . . is that as long as I've been over here, I still can't seem to convince people that I know how to survive in Vietnam. I went to a restaurant for dinner. Just a small rice place. I started eating my dinner with a pair of chopsticks and the lady who served me my rice literally took the chopsticks from my hands and replaced them with a fork. I know that she was trying to be helpful, but this made me sooooo angry that I could barely finish my meal. It would have been one thing if she had suggested that I use a fork. . .I'm used to that, but she took the damned chopsticks away from me. I was denied chopstick privileges. I wanted toss my plate across the restaurant, go home, and cry myself to sleep. Fortunately I realized how stupid I was being before I made a fool out of myself. Instead I smiled and used the fork with a full fist like a barbarian and tried to get as much food as possible onto my lap. . . It's a good think I didn't make a fool out of myself. Now rather than thinking that I'm rude, they probably just think that I've got some sort of mental disorder, and after an episode like that. . .I've got to wonder. I think that the frustration comes from the fact that no matter how hard, or how long I try, I'll never be treated as a local. Of course I know that I'm not a local, but sometimes you just want to eat your rice with chopsticks--the way that feels the most natural to you-- and you don't want anyone to fuck with you.

Anyway, I feel better now.

So for those of you who are curious, I've been over here for about 18 months (from september 2006-now minus two months last summer), and I'm only going to stay for another month and a half.